All Hope Is Gone
by MissMayFF
Summary: Stuck in a cupboard Anastasia hears voices. They weren't the familiar moans of the undead as they shuffled around a world that was now there's. No. These were voices that talked from the lips of people that walked instead of limped. Her breath catches in her throat and a little hope blooms in the pit of her chest. But with a terrible secret will these new survivors accept her?
1. They Dropped Like Flies

A thin silver chain ending in a locket dangled from her wrist as her dirt and blood stained legs shook, even with that gun in her hand she knew it wouldn't be enough to save her. With few bullets left, she may as well put one to good use and blow her own brains out. It would save her the pain and agony of being torn to pieces by these things and the horror of becoming back as one, just like...shaking her head Anastasia pushed fresh thoughts from her mind and sucked in a deep breath of staling air while she forced her legs to stop shaking and to stay perfectly still inside the small metal cabinet she had barred herself into.  
She squeezed her hazel eyes shut and blew a section of long dark brown hair from her face and mouthed hushes to herself.

"Merle!"

Anastasia's eyes flew open, had she just heard someone? Or was it her mind playing tricks once again on her like it had done so many times before?

"Merle!"

Yes! Yes she did hear a real voice! Her stomach did a little flip as hope ignited itself once more in the pit of her belly.

"We aren't the only ones here..."

Another voice following the first one, she had to let them know she was here...but what about the things crawling around outside? If Anastasia shouted they would surely come scampering in to devour their share of human flesh. Huffing she tucked the gun into the top of her dark shorts and wiped a sweaty hand across the stomach of her ribbed singlet before gently pushing on the cabinet door. She said a quick prayer of thanks as the door opened with ease, but soon that prayer dissipated when Anastasia stepped out to come eye to eye with a sharp arrow.  
A sharp intake of breath saw her raise her hands, "Don't shoot!"

The man holding the crossbow housing the arrow didn't budge, "Are ya bit?" his obviously Redneck accent asked.

"No," she slowly shook her head hoping that would coax the man into lowering her weapon. Boy was she wrong.

"Daryl," the second voice began to reason, "Put that down. Now."

The man addressed as Daryl briefly looked to his side before lowering his arrow and took a step back.  
Anastasia let out a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding during the tension and turned her face to the man with the voice of reason. He held out his hand, "I'm Rick."

Anastasia took his hand with a shake as her mind quickly pulled itself together, "Anastasia." She looked around the room and dropped Rick's hand. The building seemed empty of those undead things. It was almost serene, like a messy set concocted for some high fashion photo shoot. It was obvious the building had been an office in the previous world with papers still strewn about the room. There was a large printer off to the side that had been tipped over on it's side and a whole bunch of those cubicle walls with holes punched and shot through them. Above the cabinet she'd been hiding in was a light partially ripped from the ceiling.

Rick nodded, "That's Daryl. This is T-Dog," he pointed to the dark skinned man standing behind him and finally turned to a young scrawny Asian lad, "And Glenn."

She noted faces with names and put them to her memory bank for later, "What are you fellas doing out here? Didn't you know this place is death valley?"

"Yeah," Daryl came across with pure aggression, "Out lookin' fer my brother, thanks ta this dickhead," he gestured towards T-Dog, "Seen him?"

Anastasia raised her brow and scoffed, "Haven't seen a soul," she lied.

"What were you doing in there?" asked Rick, she noticed his Sheriffs badge.

"Hiding, obviously. You're crazy for not doing the same," her eyes furrowed and her head dropped as her insides began to fidget.

Daryl squinted his eyes while a feeling of doubt about this woman pitted itself with his insides, "Liar!"

Anastasia cocked her head and rolled her eyes, "Whatever boys," she turned on her booted heel.

"Wait, Anastasia. Where are you going?"

She stopped, where was she going? There was no where to go, not now.  
"It seems quiet at the moment so anywhere but here," was the best answer she could offer for now.

Rick hesitated as he put a foot forward, "Listen, we have a camp not far from the City limits with food and good people..."

Anastasia turned to face Rick, "The last group of people I were with? They all turned. So while your gesture is nice and all, excuse me if I don't jump at the offer," she turned to Daryl with a thought forming in her head, "Though while I am going to go out there, I can help look for your brother?"

It was Daryl's turn to scoff, "A woman-"

"-Hey, for all I care that brother you're looking for can rot. I just offered."

Truth was Anastasia was dying to leave this city and the horror she had been forced to take part in hours before, the blood still fresh over her skin and clothing, the smell stuck in her nostrils. But taking up camp with a group of people again? A group is what got her into trouble to start with. They came with so many issues. Ranks to follow and people to care for other than yourself, it was just a whole mess of things to worry about.  
But if these people could just get her out of the city safely even with those creatures lurking around outside, it was worth a shot.

"We would really appreciate that," Rick stepped in, yet again.

Nodding she looked around her with a sigh and patted down her clothes while looking around. "I put that thing down somewhere," her eyes landed on a long serrated blade near the cabinet. "There you are," she made one stretched out gesture and snapped it up in her hand. "Alright I guess this is us moving on out?"

* * *

Making their way around the City wasn't going to be easy but as they crept on Anastasia learnt they weren't only looking for Daryl's brother but they were also on a mission to pick up a bag of guns and ammo that Sheriff Rick had so graciously left lying around with the walkers. That extra bit of information almost had Anastasia walk right back into her cabinet and lock the metal door behind her. But it was either chance this guys and get out of the city or stay and have no other options but to kill herself or be killed by those creatures.

A silent huff left her nostrils as she made her final decision.

"So the group you were with were all infected?" T-Dog asked as Glenn poured over a plan for the claiming of the gun bag.  
They stood around looking down at a map and listening to where Glenn knew the safest routes to be, after all he was an ex-pizza delivery boy and knew where he was going.

"Yup, one by one they dropped like flies and rose up again," quietly she hardened her mind and emotions, forcing back tears that began to form in her eyes.

T-Dog's eyes stuck on her for a moment before shifting as Glenn began to divulge his plan to sneak into the street for the bag as each of them took a post to cover him.  
Anastasia ran a thumb over the locket still attached to her wrist and nodded as they ran over it again, remembering her post across from Daryl and Glenn.

Glenn let out a heavy breath, "Alright."

The stench of walker wafted heavily through the streets as each person took their spot and readied themselves for the worst possible outcome of this more than foolish plan. But as Glenn's idea began to run smoothly the thoughts of how stupid and reckless it was began to melt away.

A sigh of relief left Anastasia as she saw him grab the bag and begin towards Rick and T-Dog. This was going t work, this was actually going to work! Soon she would be out of the city limits and just that much more safer and away from the place where the darkest hour of her life had taken place.  
Anastasia could feel a beacon of fresh hope bloom in her chest, she needed this. She needed out of here. But soon that feeling of hope quickly turned back to anxiety. "Damnit," she hissed as walkers cut him off, forcing Glenn back to Daryl.  
The sudden sound of car tires screeching towards them echoed through the street and shouting reached Anastasia from where Daryl was behind a gate.  
Glenn was barely at the gate when a small group of burly men exited the car. One grabbing hold of Glenn while the other took up their bag of guns.  
"Shit, shit, shit!" Anastasia watched as her chance of getting the hell of out this valley of death began to slip away.  
No this wasn't going to happen!  
Sucking down every bit of fear that had surfaced as she watched the walkers creep out on the road she felt the need to do something greater than that. Her legs carried her from the spot she was allocated and quickly passed a walker and towards two large men packing Glenn into a car. "Hey!" Anastasia's voice shook, but she gulped down on her dry throat. Her husband had always said the most important thing was to never show your fear to the enemy and as these words stuck in her head she repeated her words. "Hey!" This time her voice was stronger and caught their attention.

One man turned to her voice but the sound of the shuffling undead was fast approaching and neither party wanted to be out there any longer. From the gate Daryl called to her catching Anastasia's attention for that split second. A split second in which it took for the man to close the distance on the road between them and ball up a thick fist to deliver a heavy punch to Anastasia's jaw and a quick kick to the ribs as she fell to the road before tearing off in the car. Glenn stuffed in the back seat.  
Metallic blood rolled over her tongue and the sounds of a walkers surrounded her hearing. "Fuck!" she cursed out loud. Grappling onto any emotion but fear she forced her body up from the ground as it began to ache. Anastasia pulled the knife from it's sheath knowing that the sound of her gun would just attract more rotting bodies. She looked around at the nearest geek and without hesitation drove her blade hard into the walkers skull and out again making sure to pivot out of the way as it dropped and dead blood spilled over the road. She breathed a heavy breath as her chest rose and fell. The sensation of putting down one of those dead fucks was like an electric charge through her system. Any residual fear had been thrown out the proverbial window and the only thing left on Anastasia's mind was getting the hell out of there with this group of people.  
A switch had been flicked, she could remember something else her husband had once said about switches being flipped...they were hard to shut off once you got the feel for what had switched it on.

"God Dammit!" Daryl cursed as he raised a bow and let it fly through the air with a whistling sound following it. The arrow head spun in the air hitting it target dead on. Rotten eyeball flew from the walkers socket and it fell to the road beside the one Anastasia had dropped. "Get over 'ere."

Moving through the shuffling crowd of the animated dead, Anastasia swiftly slid her body through the gates Daryl was behind. "Thanks."

"Shudup." His hard stare lingered on her as he cocked his head to the side. "You hear dat?"

Anastasia looked past his shoulder and caught the sound he was asking about. It sounded like a mumble and a whimper. "Is that a person?" She asked.

"Dunno." Daryl's voice was low. His boots barely made a noise while he crept towards the noise, he slid his own hunting knife from his boot as he peered into a hole in the wall. "Come 'ere!" His hand shot into a crook in the wall and clutched onto something Anastasia couldn't see.

"What is it?" She stepped forward with her knife in her hand.

"This lil' creep." He tugged out a young man, barely in his twenties from the crook by the collar of his shirt.

"Aye man, my boys are gonna be back for me and will fuck you up!" He cursed.

"Not likely, son. If they ain't worried 'bout leavin' ya behind with me. They sure as hell ain't coming back for ya. Now do you know where they are takin' the Asian?"

* * *

Anastasia watched the three remaining men interrogate the young man who had been the instigator in Glenn's kidnapping. Daryl raising his voice and fists every chance he got.

Her eyes rolled and hand wiped the drying blood from her lip. "If he won't spill just blow his head off," she spat. Anastasia was growing tired and agitated. At least an hour must have passed since Glenn and the gun were taken. She sat on a chair in another office building chewing her lower lip. Without the backing of terror exposing her nerves all she wanted to do was kick some walker arse and leave. She had almost tasted freedom from the city but quickly it had been snatched away from her leaving her with a bubbling anger in her gut.

Daryl glanced over at her input with a glint in hie eyes. "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

Rick shook his head. "There will be no blowing off of anyone's head. Easily enough we can trade this one off for Glenn. Their man for ours," his attention turned back to the young boy, "Now, where did they take him?"

"They won't trade with you. Those guns are ours!"

"Can you please not shout." Anastasia ran a hand through her hair. "You either tell us or you're left with three fucking options." Her breath was hot over his ear as she leaned in close. "You can go back to your crew and we follow you. They'll think you ratted on their location and kill you. Or we turn our backs and let this guy," She pointed a finger to Daryl. "Leave you bleeding out with the Walkers like a pig to slaughter. And lastly and my favorite, we can take you back on our journey home and give you up as food for the Walkers when we run into them, because I assure you we will."

The man's chest heaved and the three others looked back her though Daryl was the only one smirking.

"Alright I'll take you to them. But they won't trade with you."

"We will take care of that when we get there." Rick assured him. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

Later afternoon began to bleed into the sky over the group as they walked through a set of tall iron gates with their captive tied and gagged for assurance.

Rick looked around noticing several guns pointed at them from the rooftop and came to look down the barrel of one as another pack of men gathered around the front entrance.

"I suspect you are wanting those guns, Esse?" A man closest to the front spoke.

"You suspect right. Those guns are mine and I intend on getting them back." Rick replied with his hands tucked into his Sheriffs belt.

The man chuckled and looked back at his men but as he turned back to face Rick the chuckle dropped. "Get the fuck out of here before I kill all ya'll." He dismissed the fact Rick had one of his men captive and turned his back inside.

"We'll kill you man right here and as many others as we can before you get us all." Anastasia spoke up. The things she had been through had definitely blunted her fear of regular men.

He turned back around and narrowed his eyes towards the woman who was clutching just a knife, a big bladed knife, but again just a knife. "Listen mama, I run this parts-"

"You run nothing anymore. We have women and children to protect on the road and I think you have enough guns to protect your boys. So give up the guns and we will be on our way." She replied.

Daryl wanted to glance over at her as her warning stirred excitement in his gut. The smell of a bloody fight in the air had to follow those words. Thems were fightin' words!

"Mis bisnietos. Mis bisnietos..." The sound of slippers scuffing against the floor and a shaking female voice broke the tension.

Rick and his backing watched as an elderly woman shuffled through the group of thugs to the leader and rested a wrinkled hand over his arm. "Grandma-ma you shouldn't be out of bed." His voice was soft as he spoke to the woman, placing his hand over her own.

"No gun. No fight. Mis bisnietos come...come..." With her hand still clasping his arm she began to tug him in the opposite direction.

He sighed and followed her through, Rick and the others slowly and cautiously trailed behind.

"This is an old age home?" Asked Rick as they looked around at the white open area and the wide windows.

There were more older women and men sat on beds and chairs. One appeared to be having trouble getting his medical puffer to work. The leader who had just been threatening to kill everyone of them nodded and helped with the puffer. "Yes. I worked here before everything went to shit. Ever since then we have just been trying to make everything as comfortable and safe as possible."

"That's why you took the guns." Anastasia muttered as she stood furthest from the people. She was looking around as Daryl was. Both of them looking for Glenn.

"Your man has been helping us move the beds into here today."

Just then Glenn popped his head through a narrow door and waved. "Thought you guys were just gonna leave me for dead." He joked.

Rick nodded towards him. "Never." He turned his attention back to the leader with a sigh. "I can see your doing your best here...but we still need guns and bullets."

The man took a second to think. "Listen, I hear you when you say you got women and kids to protect...so let's split what's in the bag and call it a day?"

* * *

It was dark as Anastasia followed the men, including Glenn, back to camp. She listened as they recounted their shock at the situation they befell them in the city. A nursing home of all places! But Anastasia stayed silent, enjoying the fresher than town air.  
The feelings of branches and grass brushed against her skin in the most delightful way as her body began to relax. Finally she had made it out of the City.  
But would she stay with these new people? She wasn't sure.

The small band of five began to breath easy as they approached the camp sight but only in a world like this did that sense of coming home shatter at the sounds of screaming and gunfire.

"Oh my God!" Rick gasped hopeless as the scene before them played out.

Walkers had invaded the happy camp and were making quick meals from the inhabitants no matter who they were, women and children alike. It was something taken straight from the pages of a sick and twisted novel.

The men around her were quick to start firing the rifles in their hands at the bloody and gore infested walkers. Other men in the camp were taking up blunt objects and using them as weapons to bludgeon the undeads skulls.

Women scattered with children in arms, stupidly enough most into the gaping mouths of walkers waiting.

Anastasia bit her bottom lip and ran up the small slope from the ditch they had come to witness the slaughter from and going on instinct began tearing open skulls with her knife. Since the incident in the city it seemed like second nature. Almost as if she had taken a backseat and something else was doing the work for her, only with her hand and her knife.

Her eyes caught sight of a little girl crouching down next to a truck just as a Geek was about to wrap it's rotten hands around her. Anastasia ran at the Walker with her knife raised and slammed it right into the back of its skull. She ripped her hand backwards and crudely tugged her blade out. Dead brain matter was stuck to her blade but quickly she sheathed it into her boot and scooped the crying girl up in her arms.

"Where's your mom?" She asked looking around at the helpless camp as history repeated itself before her eyes. Blood tainted the fresh air of minutes ago and bodies began to pile up, both walker and human. And the screaming and snarling it was like a torturous symphony echoing into the night.

The little girl pointed towards a woman huddled against an RV with another woman and a young boy. "Mummy!" She cried.

"Hold on to me and don't let go till we're with your mom, okay?" Anastasia felt the girl nod into her shoulder. "Okay, we're going now."  
Careful to keep her own rising panic at the state of the camp Anastasia moved through the slaughter avoiding snapping teeth and clawing hands with a boot to several rotting guts. The girl in her arms reminded her so much of the little dark haired girl back in her old group...only this time she would save the girl still living in her arms.

"Oh God, Sophia!" Her mother reached out immediately and smothered her daughter in a hug, but Anastasia didn't bother to look for a thank you. She only turned back around to join the men in the fight for survival. She'd escaped the city and now as she faced another scene of carnage she wasn't about to let herself die her. Not now. No way.

* * *

The early morning sun cracked like an egg over the fresh slaughter and spewed its warmth over the camp in the middle of a vacant road. Anastasia's back was turned to it as she sat away from the carnage, the small locket turning over and over in her fingers.  
She could hear the moans and cries from the living over their lost ones and felt their pain so fresh and strong as it ripping through her heart. Those tears she had been fighting to hold back in the city began to fall down her face hard and all the thoughts she was trying to keep a lid on spilled over to the front of her mind's eyes and saw her limbs begin to shake again.  
The night before she had felt so strong in putting down those walkers and saving who she could but now as Anastasia sat on the road she felt nothing more than helpless.  
But she couldn't let these strangers notice her in this state. They would begin to ask questions and too many questions led to lies she wouldn't be able to keep track of.

"Aye'," a hard tap on her shoulder made her suck back on her tears, "Give us a hand."

Wiping her face she turned without bothering to look up and took hold of a dead walkers ankles and began dragging it over to the mounting pile ready for a fire pit.

Daryl furrowed his brow at the tears brimming her eyes. "Harden up. We got a lot of bodies dat need burnin'."

Anastasia looked up at the Redneck and her gaze hardened. "Daryl, shut the fuck up."


	2. A Need To Know

"What were you doing in that cabinet?" T-Dog parked himself down next to Anastasia who was sitting with her legs crossed watching the ashen wood from the night before's fire drop to cinders.

"Hiding from walkers, I heard them passing through."

"So all of your crew turned?"

She nodded, "One by one they were bitten and one by one they turned into those things," flashes of her knife slicing through a mass of dark hair flew through her mind.

T-Dog sighed and shook his head, "You must be lucky."

Anastasia titled her head to the side and scoffed, "Yeah, lucky."

"If yer ask me, ya lyin' about somethin'," Daryl's voice came from above her and she looked up.

"What makes you think that?" her hand went to her locket again.

He shrugged, "I know one when I sees one."

Her eyes rolled and she stood, "You obviously have some kind of problem with me, care to spit it out? Or am I just going to have to listen to you drabble on about crap?"

Daryl's skin reddened and his eyes narrowed. "Woman ya think that we would really believe that ya the only one ta survive from yer group?" His raised voice caught the attention of the rest of the camp, she watched as they turned actually seeing her as a whole for the first time. "We saw what Atlanta was like!"

Anastasia stood and took a step back. She looked around the group as they stared back at her. "If you have had to do some of the things I have, you wouldn't be staring so hard and looking for a reason to throw me out before I've had a chance here."

Rick's boots crushed the gravel as he approached her. "No one is throwing you out of here, Anastasia."

"Not yet anyway," another man spoke up.

She looked over at him squaring his broad shoulders. "Don't worry," her back straightened and face hardened. "I'm going. Sorry to have helped you out with looking for your brother," her eyes turned to Daryl, "And sorry for helping kill some walkers last night, too." Turning on her heel Anastasia walked from the group as they watched. Like she'd thought, groups were just too much trouble.

"Wait!" quick steps caught up to her and a soft hand fell on her shoulder.

Anastasia turned to face one of the women belonging to the camp, she had short peppery hair and a face that showed kindness. "You saved my little girl last night," the woman turned towards the camp. "She saved Sophia last night, helped Daryl yesterday and took part in getting Glenn and the guns back. Why are we tossing her out?"

Daryl took a step forward. "Somethin' bout' her don't sit well. Ya'll can see that. Don't reckon we can really trust her."

"Can't believe I am saying this but Daryl is right. What aren't you telling us?" T-Dog stepped up with the same suspicions Daryl had.

Was is that obviously written all over her face? Or were people just starting to become so ravenous in their survival that any outsider looked like a threat inside the camp? "If I told you, you would kick me out anyhow."

"I think she should stay," the woman by her side said with a shaking voice that told Anastasia this woman wasn't used to speaking her mind all too often.

Anastasia bit her lip and sighed. There was no way these strangers were going to get down to her deep and nasty. So she lied. "I survived by killing them before they killed me. Once bitten they were already dead so I made sure they were down before getting the chance to sink their teeth into me. I killed every member of my group. People I trusted. Ate with and fought beside."

A hush went over the group, a hush broken by Daryl, "So you're telling us that's it?"

She nodded, "Yup."

A slight laugh left his throat, "Hell. If that's your dirty, you ain't got a thing to worry bout, butterfly."

* * *

"I really thought it were somethin' else." Daryl mentioned as they sat skinning squirrels and rabbits in the quiet of the day as the camp were getting ready to move out.

Anastasia looked up. "That an apology?"

Daryl only grunted in response. "How'd ya learn to skin and gut so clean?" His gore soaked knife pointed to her clean rabbit.

"My husband taught me."

"Husband?"

She nodded. "He was army and one of the first waves in to protect the city," her heart began to ache as she thought about him.

Daryl stopped for a moment. "That where you learned to kill walkers like that? I saw yer moves and gotta say was impressed."

"Yeah, but not so much for walkers. He believed that every woman should know how to fight off an attacker. But he reckoned he made the mistake of teaching me to fight like the army taught him. Put your fear away and go straight for the kill.

Daryl chuckled. "Sounds like a good plan ta me. He dead?"

Anastasia mimicked Daryl and dropped her knife. "He was bitten and his army brothers put a bullet in his head before he turned. So yeah, he's dead."

"Sorry."

"Don't be," she wiped her hands over the front of her top. "I did my crying over his death long ago, now I just mostly get angry at the thought. You know they threw those men in there without so much as a proper brief? All they got was kill on sight."

"That's the Gov fer ya," he sat up and examined their bounty, "I think that's enough."

Anastasia pulled the locket from her pocket and clipped it around her neck. "I'll get a pot boiling."

Daryl nodded. "What's with that locket? I seen you with it when we first found ya and ya been thumbing it ever since. What's in it?"

She stopped mid step and turned back and her heart began to pound at his question. "Just a photo."

He stood and walked over oddly curious. "Of who?"

Raising a brow her hand went to the locket. "Why the need to know so much?"

"Call it a need ta know thing," his hand reached out towards the locket when Anastasia smacked it back.

"What you need to know is some damn manners, Daryl."

Again he grunted. "Just curious is all."

A huff is what he was met with as she decided to opened the locket. After all they were just photos, what harm could they do if a squirrel skinning Redneck wanted a look? "It's a photo of my daughter and my husband."

Daryl looked closely at the photo and noted the little girl had the same colour hair as her mama but the same light eyes as her father. "What were their names?" He asked.

Fresh tears prickled in her eyes, but she sucked them right back. "Lincoln and my little girl was Dana."

"Ya look too young ta have had a kid," Daryl mentioned as he watched her eyes stare down at the photos. He could see a shadow of some memory begin to surface behind her eyes.

"Lincoln and I married young. I was just eighteen and he was twenty one. We had Dana when I was twenty, she was seven when-" her voice caught in her throat. She knew she was getting too close to the thing she didn't want any of them to know.

Daryl's voice dropped. "Sorry fer askin' 'bout them."

"No, it's just that...never mind, let's just get this food on so we have something for the road." Snapping from her thought that was teetering on the tip of her tongue Anastasia broke out a smile.

"What?"

Her hands pushed her hair back and she shook her head coming too close to her little secret. "Nothing. I gotta get that pot on the boil."

Daryl raised his brow as Anastasia made a quick side step and walked off, he was right there was something else.

* * *

The afternoon crept in and Anastasia knew the names of everyone left and took the time to get to know the ones of those passed. It had been somewhat of a short trip from the site she'd come across last night, but any distance from that place felt like a relief to everyone.

Around them were more trees, thicker than what they had been close to the night before and air around them smelt sweet. Food sat well in everyone's bellies as they stayed seated after the meal was over and began to chat, taking their minds off everything that had hit them so hard.  
Daryl stared hard at Anastasia who occasionally glanced over at him, averting her eyes when she found he hadn't taken his from her.

"Don't worry about Daryl," Lori leaned in towards Anastasia, "He is just a jerk most of the time."

Anastasia glanced back over at Daryl. "Hm? Oh I dunno about that."

"Heh, well you come and tell me about it when you get to know Daryl Dixon, he is just like is brutish mother Merle." Lori replied with a half smirk on her lips.

"Well, I'm just gonna head in the RV for a bit, if that's okay?" She wasn't sure how to reply and suddenly felt the suffocation of too many people around her begin to creep in.

"Sure, you okay hon?"

Anastasia nodded. "Just need a little space is all."

Daryl furrowed his brow as he watched Anastasia stand and walk off to the RV and soon he was following her inside.

With her face buried deep in her hands Anastasia sat inside the RV at the table when the sounds of boots thudded along the flooring. "What were ya gonna say today?"

Her hands dropped and Anastasia's eyes were met with Daryl leaning down over the table looking down at her. "Nothing."

"Yer a bad liar," he scooted down next to her and leaned back in the chair.

"It's just something I don't want to talk about."

"Gonna haveta' one day."

"I'm sorry we didn't find your brother," she folded her arms over the edge of the table as her skin prickled into goosebumps.

"It's ok," he shook his head, "Merle can take care a' himself out there, he is one tough sonofabitch." Daryl knew she was just changing the subject.

"Maybe we will come across him later?" she offered as she watched Daryl's facial expressions change from the bad ass he made everyone think he was to something a little softer and a little less of the hard bastard Merle that she had heard about and already had heard people compare Daryl to.

He found it strange that someone would be apologising to him, offering him some sympathy, everyone else just saw him as their personal hunter good for small game and the occasional Buck when they felt like being fancy. "Yeah, maybe."

They sat in silence listening to the camp back and clear the site. "Wonder where you'll all be moving to next."

Daryl looked over, finding an odd feeling begin to squirm in his stomach. "You'll know when we get there."

* * *

"The CDC?" Shane said in aspiration, "That's back in with the walkers!"

"There is safety there," Rick fired back.

Daryl stood watching the argument with his arms crossed, Anastasia stood beside him watching as the rest of the camp did, slowly putting their input over Shane's want to avoid the CDC.

"Sounds like the CDC idea is winning out." Anastasia kicked her foot over the ground turning to Daryl in the process.

"Yer, looks like."

"Can I get a ride with you?" She looked up at Daryl as he glanced back at her.

"If yer tell me what ya was going ta before?"

She huffed, "Ain't going to let that go, huh?"

He shook his head, "Not a chance, so ya ridin' with me?"

Anastasia rolled her tongue over her bottom lip, "Yeah."


	3. What Have I Done?

Anastasia watched as the world around them whipped by from the passenger side of Daryl's truck during the long drive towards the CDC and she could feel sleep weighing heavy over her shoulders.

"Ya' gonna tell me or what?" his voice was gruff and shook the feeling from her.

She turned her head towards him and watched as his jaw tensed and eye flickered over her before going back to the road ahead of them, "When I'm ready."

A scoff came from his throat, "Sneaky bitch."

"So how did the group come together?" Anastasia tucked her knees under her chin and wrapped her arms around them.

Daryl looked over once more with a brow raised, "Just sorta came tagether is all."

"Yeah, you don't seem like the kinda guy that just 'comes together' with people."

He shrugged, "When it came ta it, they had shelter and food, survival, ya know?"

"Hm, fair enough."

Daryl wanted to ask her again about the thing she wasn't telling him but knowing the woman wasn't going to give that yo easily he settled in and asked her something else. "You were pretty scared in that building...what made ya decide to come with us?"

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips and for a moment she didn't answer. Anastasia just sat in the big truck seat and searched herself for a proper answer and noticed that no longer did she feel the same fear that had plagued her in the city. "Survival, you know?"

He grunted at her reply. "Smart arse. It's gonna be dark soon, hope we reach there before that." Daryl nodded towards the sun burnt afternoon skies beginning to fade into inevitable darkness.

Anastasia looked forward, city like structures coming into view on the horizon. "Looks like it's your lucky day, Daryl."

His eyes squinted at the building. "Well ya-haw." Tone slick with subtle sarcasm.

The line of vehicles came to a slow stopped just as night was beginning inset in around the group. Quickly they scurried from cars with whatever weapons they carry long with them.  
Looking up at the building little buds of hope began to bloom in their chests, Rick leading the way to the front entrance.

"Looks like no one's in there, man," Shane protested when Rick banged his hand over the armored building. "Keep it down! You know we're in Walker territory."

"No," Rick shook his head, "Someone has to be in there," he began to bang louder over the metal structure sending alarm through the camp.

"Rick, you're making too much noise," Lori took her husband's arm and tugged it away.

"Yeah man, this is a waste we need to - Oh Shit!" Shane looked to his side raised his gun. It fired with a bellow into the swarm of oncoming walkers shuffling towards them.

"Let us in!" screamed Rick banging his whole being against the building, "You're going to kill us! You're killing us!"

"Dammit Rick," Shane hooked an arm around the cops waist and began to tug him away as the women screamed and began to scatter with children in arms, men taking in their duty and fighting off the infected the best they could.

Anastasia split from Daryl's side and joined in helping to bash away the walkers from wrapping their rotting teeth around the kids. She yanked her gun from her waist and fired the last bullets she had into three of the Walkers who dropped to the ground.

"Open up!" as Rick screamed with all his might a sudden voice came over the building and a light flooded them as one of the shield raised. They stepped back in a moment and forgot about the walkers.

"Hurry." Was all the voice said. It was calm and collected as the group rushed in away from the snapping hungry jaws of people who once walked and talked as they did.

* * *

Bottle of drink and plates food flowed around a long table as the group sat in a drunken humor enjoying the relief and the safety given to them inside the CDC. Around them were computers long shut off and a series of lights hanging above their heads. The spirit of the group was so heady and lifted that they had almost forgotten about the terror outside.

Anastasia sat across from Daryl watching as he threw down another shot of whiskey and even though the joy seemed infectious, she wasn't feeling any of it. The man who let them in had turned out to be the only one left, Jenner.  
People spoke of old times and joked about times with people long gone now and as the story telling grew to a high Anastasia could feel the sickly effects of the wine on her and pushed back on her chair.

"Where are you going?" Rick asked looking up with another glass of wine in his hand.

She smiled. "Not feeling so good, gonna get some shut eye if it's all the same," tilting her head in a nod Anastasia pulled herself from the celebrations.

"Sleep tight." Lori replied and pulled Anastasia down for a hug. "You've done so much for us already, thank you."

"It's fine." Anastasia patted the brown haired woman's back and pulled away to stumble off to a room for the night.

As Anastasia walked down the hallway she could still hearing the group celebrating. But as she clambered further and further down the hall all Anastasia could think about were her own terrible memories and the horrendous thing she'd done. Wrapping her hand tight around the locket.

"Oh god, what did I do?" Tears stung her eyes and began to trickle fast down her face while he legs began to slow and buckle. Her body slumped into a wall for support as it began to shudder. "I'm sorry...so sorry..."

"Hey..." Daryl had chosen to take the bottle of whiskey and do the same and head off to retire for the night. But as he made his own way through the building he'd caught sight of Anastasia as she slowed to a stop. "Whoa!" Daryl rushed forward and his arms grabbed the woman as her body dropped to the floor. He looked down at her as she turned into nothing but a sobbing wreck, burying her face into his chest.

"I killed her Daryl! I killed my little girl!" Anastasia wailed into his shirt and her tears soaking through the material.

He felt his eyes widen and heart beat begun to race. "Wha...?" But as he asked, Anastasia had already lost herself in wails as the guilt poured out. Daryl grunted pulling the woman to her feet, "Women, always gotta be cryin' 'bout something."

* * *

"Finally up? Didn't think even the dead coulda raised ya," Daryl looked up from the end of the bed, bows in hand with a cloth cleaning the gore and gunk from them.

"Huh?" Anastasia pushed her hair back from her face and gingerly sat up and pulled the covers over her as she did.

"Heh, don't worry nothin' I ain't seen before, darlin'." Daryl had an uncharacteristic smirk written across his face.

Anastasia looked at him confused until he pointed to her bare shoulders. She looked down and noticed her apparent lack of clothes. "Oh Jesus Daryl!" Making to gather more of the sheets around her she glared back at him.

"Still kept yer panties on." He chuckled, it'd been a long time since a topless girl had been in his bed.

Anastasia eyed him up and down, "Did we...?"

"Nah." Daryl shook his head, "You passed out an' Dale came round askin' for clothes ta be washed. Tried to wake ya...but like I said and yer clothes stank. There is some clean ones he said should fit ok next to ya," he nodded towards the spot on the floor next to her side of the bed.

"Um thanks...I guess." Anastasia forced her limbs from the bed and reached down for the clothes as her head began to swim and ache. "Ugh, I didn't think I drank so much last night."

"Ya did, half bottle o' rum and god knows how many glasses of wine. I was impressed," he snuck a peek as she pulled the bra and black tank top on. "Do ya remember what ya said to me last night?" His voice suddenly hit a sombre note which was something no one was used to hearing from Daryl, a man who always fought first and never asked questions later.

Anastasia was just buttoning her jeans and her hands froze. "Yeah," her eyes shut for a moment. "Could you not tell anyone, please?"

Placing his bows on the spot next to his feet, Daryl stood, "Ain't my business to tell. Was that what you were gonna tell me?"

She nodded. "Yeah, yeah it was," blinking back tears Anastasia focused her attention to the floor ignoring as Daryl stepped closer.

"How'd it happen?"

"Um," her hands found the back pockets of the jeans and drove themselves in deep. "It wasn't long before you and your group found me...maybe an hour? I'm not sure. Dana had been infected early that morning, a small group caught us outside the building and I thought...I thought we had gotten away. Dana was a brave girl and didn't wanna worry me by saying one had scratched her arm, too much fuss she said." A sad smile flashed over her lips for a moment as Daryl watched her relive the event in her head.  
"We weren't in there, where you found me, for long before I noticed the change and even then she wasn't scared. Silly thing, she was always so tough like her dad. But the infection moved so fast, so damn fast and before I knew it Dana wasn't my daughter anymore and I was pinning her down." Anastasia looked up at Daryl. "Before she could bite or scratch me I grabbed my knife and stabbed her through the head and I just kept stabbing."

As he stood their Daryl could feel the sorrow roll from Anastasia. It was like a sickening weight bearing down over him. "Hey," he hooked a finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. "You did what ya hadda ta survive, it's what we all do now."

"But she was my daughter and it was my job to protect her and I failed. I failed!"

Daryl took a step back but not because her sudden raised voice had startled him, hell he was Daryl Dixon nothing startled him, but because as Anastasia spoke Daryl knew the weight of her words and felt the guilt and anguish she felt.  
With his brother missing Daryl felt the same pain and guilt for not keeping up the search for Merle, they were all they had left in this world and now he was alone. He had left Merle out there alone to fight for survival.

"Shit. Um...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burst out like that." Anastasia wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath. "Thanks...for not going to tell anyone."

Daryl nodded and felt an off awkwardness rise between them. "Yeah."

As Daryl turned to retrieve his bows a sudden ZIP sounded through the room. "Did the air con just die?" Anastasia asked looking up at the silent vent.

Looking up Daryl nodded. "Yea, it did."

"That's odd." Voices from others rooms began to emerge into the hallway. "Sounds like it's the lights too."

"Somethin' ain't right. Come on."

* * *

"What do you mean this is the end?!" Rick screamed as Jenner sat with a quaint smile over his aged face.

"I mean this is it. There is nothing left out there for anyone, no cure and no hope," the man replied, "I am giving you a quick way out from this torture you call a life."

Anastasia stood back, her hand mindlessly resting on Daryl's arm, "So you're going to kill us all because you think it's the right thing to do?"

"She is right, this is a choice we have the right to make on our own, not you!" Rick pleaded.

The door to the computer station slammed shut, "It's too late now." Defiant protests began to sound from the group and all falling on Jenner's deaf ears, "I said it's too late. That timer," he pointed to the red number counting down. "Is all the time left until a cloud of fire takes us all away from this senseless and violent world."

Falling to her knees Anastasia closed her eyes, "This can't be the end, it just can't be. Something more has to be out there."

Daryl looked down as her words reached his ears, "Dammit!"

Anastasia looked up to see Daryl stomp over to the door and smash the fire emergency box with his fist pulling the red headed axe out and begin bashing away at the door.  
Rick continued to reason and plead with Jenner and all around them women were crying and men joined in with Daryl in an attempt to beat down the steel door.  
Madness surrounded Anastasia, maybe this was for the best.

"Fine," his fingers clacked at the keyboard before him, "Just...hurry."

The door opened with a groan and shudder, "Come on!" Rick called to his group and pushed them out.

"Anastasia, let's go," she felt Daryl's hand on her arm as he pulled her from the floor, pushing her before him and out the door. Just as Anastasia exited the door she looked back and noticed Jenner whispering something to Rick but beyond that she a woman. She knew the blond haired woman as Andrea and she also remembered that Andrea had had to kill her infected sister on the road after the attack.  
"Come on!" Daryl tugged at her arm.

"Why isn't she coming with us?" Pointed out Anastasia when Andrea refused to move even as Dale urged her too.

"I don't know. Dale'll take care of her. Come on!" Again he tugged her arm and this time was relieved when she moved from her spot. His hand let go of her arm and moved to grab her hand making sure she was right behind him.

Exploding the almost shatter proof window sprayed thick hunks of grass over the green lawn that the CDC sat upon saw the group out in the open without much time before flames would swallow the building and the ground it stood upon whole.

Following Daryl they reached his truck and quickly jumped in slamming the doors shut behind them. "Andrea and Dale didn't come out..."

Daryl grunted as they watched the building. Long moments of anticipated silence passing over them before two figures emerged from the window.

"They made it!" Anastasia yelped with relief as she moved closer to the passenger side door.

"Shit, geddown!" Daryl shouted pushing Anastasia down on the passenger side seat, his body protecting hers.

Flames quickly swarmed around the creation of glass and steel. It sounded like an army of bees humming around them as the fire engulfed everything it could reach and destroyed it without question or reason why. Heat wafted itself through the truck from the building and was followed by the sound of shattering glass exploding into the earth and the steel that once held the building so full of once was hope began to groan and buckle under itself.

"Jesus Christ," exclaimed Daryl as he and Anastasia slowly moved to look out the trucks window, his arm still hung around her shoulders ready to pull her back down if there was a secondary explosion.

Andrea and Dale quickly scuttled from their hiding place behind a mountain of sand bangs and into the RV waiting for them.

It was time to move on again.


	4. Settlement

"So what do we do now?" Shane growled at Rick. His gun still clasped firmly in his hand.

Rick looked back at his oldest and dearest friend trying to find the right words to say. Truthfully he wasn't sure what he could say to make this any better. "Let's just find somewhere to camp down in till we figure something out."

Lori stepped in narrowing her eyes at Shane. "Shane just calm down, Rick is doing the best he can."

"Yeah and look where they got us!"

Anastasia took a step back from the group and turned looking down the road they had landed themselves on after driving away from the hopeless mess that was the smouldering CDC.  
Wrapping her arms around her body Anastasia slowly shook her head to herself. A time when she had thought there would be something more than what they had been forced to endure had died in flames. As she stood there her thoughts began to sink back to the darkest moment of her life.  
Maybe she should have used that knife on herself instead of Dana. If she did at least something that resembled her daughter might still be shuffling around living some kind of life. She was just a little girl who had lost her daddy.

"You okay?" Daryl's voice came from behind her. He had watched as she slid away from the group as they bickered and fought.

Slowly Anastasia shook her head. "What's the point?"

Ruffling his brow Daryl took a step closer and Anastasia could feel heat from his skin brush her own. "The point is ta survive."

"There is nothing left and no one coming to save us."

"But what ya said back at the CDC 'bout there being somethin' more..."

"I was wrong."

"So yer just going to give up? Lay down and die?"

Feeling the life begin to dull from her chest Anastasia turned to face the man pushing her to continue. "I don't have anything to stick around for." It was a realization that should have dawned on her earlier. In the long run there was nothing left for them now.

Daryl couldn't believe what he was hearing and took a step back. "Ya have us, this group."

Her only response was to stare back at him.

"Whatever lady." Scoffing he kicked the road with his boot and turned back to the group. "Ya best be catchin' a ride with Dale too."

Lori looked up catching Anastasia shuffling back over to the group and wondered what had been said between Daryl and her.

"So it's settled we find a spot and get set up."

* * *

"Is everything alright? I saw you talking to Daryl on the road today?" Lori took a spot next to Anastasia in front of the smouldering embers that had been their fire moments before.

"As good as it can get." Forcing a smile and a lie she pulled a borrowed knitted blanket around her arms and shivered. "It gets so cold out here at night time."

"Yeah it does." Lori moved her gaze to the dirt beneath them. "If Daryl's giving you any hassles you make sure to tell Rick or Shane and they'll sort it out."

"No." Anastasia shook her head. "He isn't. It was just a disagreement of opinions is all."

"Well he can be a strong headed asshole."

But Anastasia was starting to think she knew a little better even though Daryl had snapped at her on the road. There was still something that tore him apart from the monster known as Merle. Just a touch of kindness under the thick skin he had built up.

"Well I don't know about you ladies but I am sure missing my heater right about now." Carol nestled in between the women with a blanket big enough to huddle them all under if they sat close enough.

"Me too." Lori agreed with a smile. "But I miss clean clothes more."

"My wash machine. I never thought I would miss that old thing." Carol replied. "What do you miss, honey?"

Anastasia looked Carol in the eye. The thing she missed the most was her little girl and her husband but deciding not to bring down the mood Carol had brought with her she decided against telling her that. "Oh I miss sex. Really good throw ya against the wall sex. Bed breaking, nails down yer back sex, screaming and begging for it to stop kind of sex." Her cheeks blushed as she replied. The women next to her gasped with smiled and giggles.

"I haven't had that kind of sex in years!" Carol sniggered.

"Never have I had that kind of sex." Lori rolled her eyes.

Anastasia found herself smiling along with the women. "Lori once we find a place you ought to ask Rick for some of that."

Lori raised her brows. "I think I will."

Daryl looked over at the women as they giggled and swapped stories. He watched as Anastasia put on a show and smiled along fooling them into thinking she was okay.

"You three best be keepin' that ruckus down out here."

"Sorry Daryl." Carol waved her hand in the air.

"Yeah sorry Daryl. We was just talking some girl talk is all." Pitching in Lori winked at Anastasia.

"Girl talk? All you girls ever do is talk and talk. Think ya'd be deflated balloons by now." He tucked his bows behind his back.

Carol ran a hand over her hair. "Oh with the kind of luck we're having all we have is talk."

Lori bit her bottom lip and struck with a school girlish attitude she decided to throw the Redneck some bait. "It's just sex talk, Daryl."

The mention of the word sex pricked at Daryl's ears.

"Yeah what was that you were sayin' Anastasia? Against the wall, bed breaking, screaming, nails down your back and begging kind of sex?"

Blushing harder Anastasia looked up as Daryl turned facing them. "Is that right?"

She felt Carol nudge her shoulder to reply. "Yea that's right."

He chuckled and walked over looking over his shoulder at the RV that was already occupied by the rest of the camp. "Last time I had sex like that the bitch stole my wallet."

Lori and Carol burst out laughing but Anastasia only looked up at Daryl and he could see how her dead eyes stared back at him.

"Come on. Get in the RV. All of ya."

* * *

Morning had come quicker than the slumbering camp would have preferred but as this life would have it they were out of the RV and going about their daily duties.

Anastasia had volunteered to head back into the RV and give it a proper clean out since the night before was a cramed to fit everyone in and she had found herself tucked up next to Daryl. Though as she began to clear away the blankets from where they had lain she thought about how Daryl had huffed at her but still shuffled over allowing her more space.

"I still think ya an idiot for what ya said."

Anastasia had only rolled her eyes and told him to shut up before tucking her knees into her chest and closing her eyes.

"Gross." She muttered pulling out a fuzzy apple from under the bed in the back of the RV.  
She heard boots coming into the RV but didn't bother to look over and kept about her duties tucking away the blankets and making sure the windows were open to air the space out.

"That's not fair." Carl stomped into the RV followed by Sophia.

"Well if you hadn't back chatted to your mama like that." The young girl tutted Carl as they shifted around the little table and chair set up.

Anastasia looked over her shoulder at the kids and their sour expressions. "What's up little ones?"

Sophia was the first to reply. "Carl talked back at his mom!"

"No I didn't!" Carl loudly protested.

"Hey, hey just calm down the both of you." Making her way over Anastasia dropped the bag of garbage she had been collecting to be thrown out and stood in front of the table. "Why did you chat back Carl?"

"I didn't back chat. I just said I was sick of eating beans and squirrels. Daryl should be catching something else for us. "

A sigh left Anastasia lips and she turned her attention to Sophia. "And you're in here because?"

"All I did was agree." The girl folded her arms and slumped back in the seat.

"Well I reckon both your mama's were right to send you kids in here. What you said was rude and disrespectful."

"Mom said that already." Carl leaned over the table looking up at Anastasia.

"And I am saying it again. You know you should be thankful we have those beans to eat and even more thankful that Daryl takes his time to go out there all on his own and gather them squirrels for you to eat as well. You ever think that he doesn't want to do that everyday? Ever think he wouldn't mind just sitting around helping out with easier jobs? I bet Daryl tries his damn hardest to bring back something other than those little critters for us all, but you can't hunt something that isn't there."  
Both the children lowered their heads thinking over her words.  
"And another thing you kids should know if we didn't have Daryl all you would have is those canned beans."

"I...I guess." Raising her head the look on Sophia's face was ashen with shame. "It sure is really nice of him to do that for us all."

"Yeah." Carl agreed avoiding Anastasia mother like stare.

"Exactly so next time you see him go and say thank you. It's the least you can do. Also when your mothers come in next you best say to them you're sorry and are really grateful for what you have here."

"Yes ma'am." They replied in union.

"Good. Now I'll get out some books and colours for you two to keep busy with while I finish this cleaning off."

Anastasia quickly dug out the books and laid them in front of Carl and Sophia before turning back to cleaning. The sounds of boots shuffled up behind her. "Kids don't know any better."

Turning she noticed Daryl leaning against the archway to the bed area of the RV.

"Doesn't mean they can't learn respect and gratitude. Just because this world has gone to shit, we don't have to turn into animals."

He took a few steps forward. "So you gonna take some of your own advice and be grateful for what you got here?"

Bringing a hand to her locket Anastasia avoided Daryl's stare. "I loved my family. I lived for my family and during the months when Lincoln was in Iraq all I had was Dana and all she had was me. Now they are both gone. I might not have been able to protect my husband but I should have been able to keep my daughter safe. But I couldn't. I failed her as a mother."

Daryl watched her face with intent wondering where she was going with this.

"But when you found me and we made it to the CDC all that seemed like it was going to just be in the past and there was still hope to be had. Now? Now I am back at square one." She huffed and ran her hands through her hair. "I just don't know what to do any more or how I am suppose to feel and move through this life. One moment I am running scared. The next I am up and killing those dead shit fucks out there and after that I am lost in a hopeless whim." She threw her hand over her hair and raked the brown strands back. "But you were right though. I have this group who took me in."

"Glad ya can see that." He nodded and turned to leave satisfied with her response when Anastasia placed a gently hand over his arm.

Feeling him flinch under her touch she quickly drew her hand back. "Thank you, Daryl."

"Fer what?"

"For not telling anyone what I did."

He shrugged. "Like I told you, it ain't my business to tell."

Nodding she picked up the garbage and moved past him.

"Anastasia?"

"Yeah?" She looked back as he said her name.

"I reckon you woulda been a good mom."

She blushed. "Thanks."


	5. The Obscene And Unclean

Carol sat beside Lori and Anastasia as they scrubbed their skin clean in a near by lake bed while filling up pales of water to carry back to the camp site.

"I would be more comfortable if Shane weren't glancing back every minute or less." Carol whispered moving her hand under her bra and back again.

"Well it's just safer this way." Lori replied in a tone that agreed with Carol.

Anastasia just shrugged and stripped off her bra. "I'm not concerned. I just want to get clean already. Hey Shane could you hold this for me?" She waded over and held out her bra.

"Ah sure." He gave her a quick once over and smiled.

"Thanks. Didn't fancy walking back to camp with that thing all wet and sticking to my shirt." Anastasia smiled her thanks and made her way back over to the women who stared at her open mouthed.

"I can't believe you just did that!" Carol nudged Anastasia shoulder as she did so often.

"I have no issues with it so I don't know why you all do. It's not as if I am down to my pink and jiggling all down in front of him."

Lori barked a laugh quickly clamping her hand over her mouth. "Yea Shane doesn't always see it that way. Especially with that tight body of yours."

"Yeah we can tell you've never bore a child before."

Anastasia stopped and looked up at Carol, her hand going to her locket again. Looking back Carol crinkled her brow at the sudden silence as realisation dawned over her.  
"Oh sweetie I...I didn't think."

Lori moved her hands from the water meeting the look on Anastasia's face. "You have a child?"

"Had. I had a daughter." Raking her hands through her hair Anastasia began to move through the water back over to Shane.

Tugging her bra from its spot tucked in his belt buckle Anastasia gathered her clothes with the pales of water.

"Anastasia." Lori called after her worried they had struck a delicate cord with the young woman. 'Had' could only have meant one thing in this violent world.

"Stay with Lori and Carol I am going back to camp." She skilfully clipped her bra back over her ample chest.

"No. Just wait-"

"Shane I will be fine." Anastasia cut the man off before turning and finding her way back through the shrub.

It was silly to have acted that way. Neither Carol or Lori had known but yet the subject of her daughter wasn't one she wanted anyone else knowing about.

"Christ sake." Anastasia stomped her foot over the damp earth before setting the pales of water down by her sides.

The clothes in her hand were clean when she had picked them from the make shift clothes line that morning but since Shane hadn't been watching where he was putting his big feet they were now dusted with earth.  
Bending over to pull on the baby blue jean shorts Anastasia heard a crackle to her side and froze looking over to the side. She pressed her eyes shut and mouthed the word "Fuck" to herself. Sliding the shorts over her hips she didn't bother to pull the buttons closed before grabbing for the pales when a sharp "THUNK!" hit her right on the backside.  
"Ouch!" The woman yelped immediately clamping her hand over the now tender spot. "No walker would do that so who the fuck is out there?"

"Who the fuck is askin'?"

Anastasia turned to the source of the voice and was met with a flannel clad man smiling a wicked grin in her direction.

"I asked first."

The man grunted coming further out from the bushes. "Name's Merle."

* * *

Clearing through the bushes with Lori and Carol in tow Shane looked around the camp knowing he was one woman short and just hoped to God she had made it back on her own. Every fibre in his body had told him not to let her go alone. He should have held her down even if she kicked or screamed.

"Where's Anastasia?" Rick asked as he wife passed him with her pales of water.

"She ain't back yet?" The worst feeling struck Shane in the pit of stomach.

Rick rose a brow and stood with his hands over his waist. "What do you mean back yet? I thought she was with you and the other women?"

A huff left Shane's mouth while he rubbed the side of his head. "She was man, but stormed off before I could catch up and I couldn't leave Carol and Lori."

"Shane!"

"I thought she would be okay. We weren't far from the camp."

Daryl looked up from his spot beside the fire with a dead and partially skinned rabbit in hand watching as the two boss men began to argue. "Hey Lori."

Lori turned as Daryl leaned over to face her. "Yea Daryl?" She was just as anxious and worried as Shane was. As soon as she saw Anastasia wasn't back at camp the foreboding feeling in her belly began to settle around her tenfold.

"Where's Anastasia?" His gore encrusted hunting knife was still firmly clamped in his hand as he asked.

"I don't know."

Snapping from his spot. "What do ya mean ya don't know?"

"There was a bit of a hiccup at the lake and she went off on her own. I'm sorry it's all I know." Feeling deflated and useless Lori let her arms drop by her side.

"And Shane did nothing? Typical that bastard can't do his job right."  
Lori was left in Daryl's wake as he stomped his booted feet in Shane's direction. "Dickhead. Ya just let her go on her own?" Daryl confronted Shane pushing Rick to the side.

Shane put a hand up to Daryl. "I didn't mean to, man."

"Fuck this shit. I'll go lookin' for her. You useless dicks stay here in case she comes back."

"Daryl it'd be best to go in a group." Rick placed a hand on the riled up Redneck's shoulder only for him to shrug it off.

"Hell it is. I don't need you idiots messing up any tracks and losing her completely."

* * *

"Merle?" Anastasia took a step back as Merle took one closer. "Merle Dixon?"

He nodded. "How'd ya know that one little missy?"

Careful not to trip Anastasia continued to back up her paces as he approached her. She had heard he was a real hard faced bastard that was looser than a loose cannon. "I know your baby brother, Daryl. In Rick's camp with Shane."

"Oh do you now?" His voice was filled to the brim with menace and just by looking at the less than savoury glint in his eye Anastasia could tell this man was worse than the stories she had heard about him.

"Yeah I do." She nodded detecting a hint of shake in her voice.

With one heavy footstep Merle had closed the distance between them. Anastasia could feel the rough bark of a tree rubbing against her back which was bare save for the thin bra straps.

"So what is a hot bit of meat like you doing away from your camp?" His breath stank of rotting flesh and Merle's skin was covered in dirt and dry blood. Planting a hand either side of her head Merle leaned in and began snorting in her scent.

Her skin began to crawl and she cringed as the chapped skin over his lips brushed against her chest. By now he had her scared. With no where to run and without a way to move without him grabbing hold all she could so was clamp her hands into fists and hope for the best. "They know I am missing and I bet they are out looking for me now."

He growled a short laugh. "I bet they are too." Merle wrapped a hand around her unzipped shorts and with a rough tug pulled Anastasia' hips closer to his. "It's been some time since I seen a woman as pretty as you with a pulse. So we better make this a quick one."

"Touch me and I will scream till so many walkers come down on us we both get torn apart!" Anastasia threatened the man. If Lincoln had taught his wife one thing it was to never show fear even if rattles you to the core.

Merle only laughed. "No you won't kitty cat. Now why don't you purr for daddy and pass me some sugar."

He pressed his body against hers and with lightening fast reflexes had her wrists firmly pinned under his heavy hands.

"Let me go you filthy fuck!" Finding a seething pit of anger inside her wallowing sorrow Anastasia began to scream and jolt her body in protest. This wasn't going to happen to her. Not after every fucked up thing that had befell her. Merle wasn't going to add to it. No way!

Raising her knee Anastasia kicked as hard as she could at any part of Merle she could get to and continued to thrash as she connected a knee deep into his stomach.  
He made a winded sound which momentarily forced his grip to slacken giving Anastasia the chance to tug her wrists away and start moving.

Branches whipped her cheeks as she ran as fast as her bare feet could carry her but behind her Anastasia could hear the sounds of Merle thundering after her. Turning past a tree Shane had left a marker at Anastasia knew she was close to camp. But it wasn't close enough and she landed with a thud as Merle's heavy frame forced her to the ground.  
"Stupid bitch." It was a laugh that came from his lips. A laugh of triumph from catching his prey and landing it without too much damage.

"Get off me!" Anastasia began to scream as loud as she could hoping that someone, anyone would hear her. She didn't care if only walkers came, Anastasia only wanted this piece of trash dead.

"Shut up!" His laugh soon turned to a growl as his hand came down in a heavy fist over her face.  
Anastasia cried out in pain while blood began to trickle from her nose.

"Fucking pig!" Immediately her hands went to the silver locket around her neck as they always did when her thoughts began to stray or she was terrified beyond reason.

"What's that, huh?" Merle clamped a paw around the chain and tugged on it until it snapped and threw it to the side. "I want all your attention on me girl. All of it!"

"No!" Her voice began to crackle as another scream ripped from her lungs.

Anastasia twisted her body under Merle's grappling for the chain now lost in the thick foliage covering it's rot over the forest flooring.

Another fist punched her hard in the stomach causing her to yelp and cringe. Merle was a man who never had an issue with laying his hands on a woman in the worst way and he wasn't about to start caring about it now. Not now that he was his own king without social rules to abide by.  
A cough left her lungs when Merle turned her aching body back over to face him. His heavy body pressed down on hers and squeezed out every inch of air in her. Anastasia began to gasp for air but Merle ignored her wheezes and forced a dirty hand down her bra.

"Merle." She managed to gasp at the sounds of twigs snapping near by.

"Shush kitty cat."

She could feel his other hand tugging and pushing at her shorts. Trying as best her fading body could Anastasia kept pressing her legs together causing Merle's temper to rise again as he failed to move her shorts past the top of her thighs.

"Merle!" A booming voice shattered the silence blanketing Anastasia's ears.

Looking up Merle had a look of shock scouring his face which was soon wiped clean off as a fist rounded and connected hard with his jaw.  
Rolling to the side Merle looked up at none other than his little brother staring down at him. "What the fuck Merle?"

Anastasia ignored the brothers as she forced her body to move and scamper to something that wasn't lying down and as far away from Merle as she could get.

Daryl turned to Anastasia as his brother got up from the ground. He looked down at her face and frowned. "Come here."  
Feeling his strong arms slide under her arms, Daryl lifted her to her feet and pulled Anastasia's arm over his shoulders. "Can ya walk?"

She nodded glancing over at Merle. "Yeah I can walk."

"Rest ya weight on me." He knew exactly what a belting from Merle felt like and tried best he could to lessen the pain she was feeling at that moment.

"My locket. He tore off my locket."

Daryl looked at the naked space across her neck where the silver chain containing the last images of Anastasia's family had been. "I'll come back and look fer it later. Promise. I need ta get ya back to camp."

Groggily she nodded in agreement. "Is that fuck coming back with us?"

Daryl looked back at his brother with a cold stare. "He's my brother."

That was all the answer Anastasia needed as she pulled her arm away from Daryl. "Fucking Dixon's."

He was speechless watching as Anastasia limped towards the camp site.

"Ain't she a firecracker." Merle came up beside his brother. "Mighty punch there pup."

"Shut the fuck up Merle."


	6. Sour Notes

Anastasia hissed as Carol pressed a damp cloth over the cut across her nose bridge. Bruising had already began to cloud under both her eyes from the blow Merle had delt to her face.  
"I can't believe Daryl brought that animal back here after finding him with you the way he did." Carol brushed Anastasia's hair back from her face.

"He is an idiot." Her voice was muffled under the cloth.

"That he certainly is. Just when I thought we were seeing some humility in him."

"Huh?" Anastasia removed the cloth from her face.

Carol leaned forward sticking a medical strip over the cut. "Well when he saw you hadn't come back with us he got so damn angry."

"Oh really?"

"Mhm and went out to look for you."

Anastasia watched Carol wipe her hands over the lap of her skirt and sat back against the bed in the back of the RV. It made no sense to bring back Merle after what Daryl had found but he did anyway. She huffed. "Can you help me outside?"

"What for? You really should stay in bed for the mean time." Carol protested.

"Yeah ya really ought to rest up." Daryl had crept into the RV unbeknown to the women and stood leaning his frame against the archway.

Carol looked over. "I'll just be outside if you need me."

Anastasia nodded letting Carol move from the space next to the bed. With a sheepish look over his face Daryl dug a hand into the pocket of his pants and stepped forward sitting on the edge of the bed. "I went out looking fer yer locket." He pulled the silver chain from his pocket and reached forward letting it drop into Anastasia's lap.

She let her hand curl around the necklace and held it tight in her hand. "Your brother broke it. I can't wear it any more."

A moment of silence passed between them before Daryl snuck his fingers between hers. "I'll fix it."  
She let him take back the chain and watched as he began to fiddle with it.

"Merle is a monster. Why did you bring him back here?" We have other women and children here Daryl."

"I know." He glanced up with an irritated look in his eyes. "But he's my brother. Merle taught me everything I know about survivin'. He is all I got."

Anastasia remembered when similar words had passed her lips about Lincoln and Dana. "I know, but you have this whole group now. It doesn't have to be just you and him."

"It's always just been him and me."

"But not now. You're apart of this group as much as anyone else here." Gingerly Anastasia shifted the blanket covering her and made her way to the edge of the bed. "You're not like him, Daryl. You're different."

He stopped fiddling with the chain. "Fixed." Daryl held out the chain but Anastasia shook her head.

"Put it on for me? It hurts to move my arms that far up."

Licking his lips he nodded. "Okay."

Gently Anastasia moved closer letting Daryl thread the chain around her neck. His hands lifted her hair as he clipped the clasp shut.

She raised a hand to place on the side of his face but dropped it as he flinched. "Thanks."

"S'ok. I'll bring ya something in for lunch."

* * *

Again that night the camp were crammed into the RV still on alert for walkers around their site. Dale was busy manning the midnight lookout. Anastasia found herself sharing the bed in the back of the RV alongside Carol and Sophia. The young girl was curled up safe and sound in her mother's arm snoring softly in a deep sleep.

Laying on her back Anastasia was staring up at a ceiling invisible to her in the dark grinding her teeth against the ache in her face when deciding it was just too much and shuffled from the bed in search of the painkillers Dale had left out for her.

"What are you doing up honey?" Lori's voice whispered from behind her as she cupped her forehead in her hand.

"Pain killers. My face feels like it's on fire." Quickly she swallowed the pills turning to face Lori.

"Listen about what was said at the water hole...I...we're sorry. We didn't know you had any kin, let alone a little one." Lori tried her best to choose her words carefully. It was obvious that the child Anastasia once had didn't make it.

"Yeah well." She dropped her glance. "I can't sleep, so I am going to go and keep Dale company."

"Be careful." Watching as Anastasia quietly left the RV, Lori sat back down next to her sleeping family and began to think what she would do if she lost Rick and Carl.

"Well hey there stranger." Dale flashed a smile in the dark as Anastasia took a spot next to him on the top of the RV.

"Hey there." She replied wrapping her cardigan tightly around her body.

"What brings you up here in the middle of the night?" He asked her looking out to the land rolling forward.

Anastasia shook her head. "Couldn't sleep and couldn't stand listening to people snore. So I came up here."

"Well it's pretty quiet up here and if you go to sleep I won't wake you."

"Thanks Dale, but my face just hurts too much for sleep."

Through the dark Dale could just make out the shadows of Merle's fist marks over the woman's face. "I don't know why Rick hasn't tossed that animal out."

"He's a logical man so maybe he has a plan. I mean I can't imagine Daryl letting his brother go so easily now he has him back."

"And that's another thing. Daryl being okay with Merle here after what he'd done to you?"

She shrugged. "Why should what happened to me matter? They're family and right now it seems that's all Daryl is concerned with."

"And what do you think about that?"

Anastasia took a moment to think about what Dale was asking. "I don't think Merle should be here. He is dangerous."

Dale sighed. "Yes but what do you think about Daryl being okay with it?"

"It doesn't matter what I think about it."

"Sure it does. Now I been watching Daryl interact with you and besides Merle, you're the one he's had the most contact with. I saw him kick up a stink and go looking for you when you went missing..."

"So?" Anastasia turned to face Dale. "He was just doing what he would have done for anyone in this camp. Fella knows he is the best tracker we have and is smart enough to know we need all the people we have to make this work."

Dale shook his head. "I don't believe that."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really." By now Dale was whispering in a heated tone. "I believe you are just a little hurt that Daryl is fine with his brother even after he did what he did to you. I believe you want Daryl to turn Merle away. I believe that you-"

"Dale, just stop. Okay? Even if that were the truth, it doesn't matter. Daryl had known Merle his whole life and me for only five minutes. So he made his choice based on what he felt was right. At this moment I could care less for the Dixon brothers, I just want to get better and pull through each day without losing anyone else here."

Dale's gaze fell to his rifle. "Well...that's fair enough."

* * *

The next morning Daryl sat opposite Merle around the fire after the rest of the camp had begun their day. No one had wanted to stick around when the brother's had come out of their tents earlier and decided it was the best time to move around and get some duties done.  
Anastasia was still in the RV as they sat near the door and both looked up as it opened to her stepping out in jeans and a tank top.

"How's the face, sweetbutt?" Merle barked out a laugh between chewing left over beans from the previous night's dinner.

"Feels just like a rapist pig bashed it in." She snarled walking past both of the men without so much as a glance down at them.

"Merle, shut up already." Daryl chastised his older brother before setting his plate to the side.

"What? Not my fault she is a nasty lil' bitch." His hands went up in the air with a heavy shrug.

Daryl looked Merle in the eye leaving a silence open between them before Daryl shook his head and heaved his weight from the seat. "You're the nasty lil' bitch roun' here, Merle."

The man let out another laugh watching his little brother jog after Anastasia.

Slowing to reach her side Daryl squinted his left eye deciding what to say. "Sorry 'bout Merle..."

"Daryl...you're always going to be apologising for your brother's mistakes" She turned with her hands tucked into her back pockets.

He dropped his head as her words hit him and looked back up at her. "Yer probably right."

Anastasia let a sigh pass her lips as she looked back at Daryl. There was so much more he had to offer people, he was not is brother. She shook her head. "Listen, I don't agree with Merle being here, you know that so I...I think it would be best if we didn't talk."

Daryl took a step back. "Why?"

His question wasn't what she had been expecting, she had prepared for him to throw up his arms and tell her to take a long run off a short pier. But for him to ask and try and understand? The moment caught her off guard. "I just...I don't want anything to do with him and it seems like if I want that, we need to stop talking. To be honest with you that man scares me more than the geeks do."

Now, Daryl knew his brother was bad. He knew his brother was less than great. Hell Daryl knew his brother was a ruthless bastard. But that wasn't something Daryl had to accept as a factor before getting into the relationships he had formed in the camp without him there.  
Everyone knew the Dixon men came together and it was best to stay away from them, but when Merle had gone missing it had given Daryl the opportunity to integrate himself in with the others. It made him realise that they weren't the assholes he thought they were.

They were just learning to survive.

And then all of a sudden this woman had come into the camp with a secret she was drowning in and the person she had trusted to tell it to had been him. Not Rick the leader. Not the other women. It had been him.  
But now this same woman who had placed that level of trust in him was telling him she was practically going to act as if he didn't exist any more because of his brother.

He took another step back and nodded, unsure of what to do with or where to place the new feelings that were beginning to bubble under his surface. Daryl looked into her bruised face and felt this sudden pang of mind numbing guilt begin to stab at his chest.  
"If that's what ya think ya want."

Anastasia nodded watching as Daryl struggled to process his thoughts. "It is. I'm sorry."

His head dropped. "Don't be."


End file.
